4 Things Christians Should do After a Relapse?
“Relapse is part of recovery” — Anonymous.
Introduction
I hope that you never experience a relapse. But if you do relapse, here are some things you can do to get back on track. They are not in any particular order. Instead, they are all possible actions you can take.
1. Stop and take stock
Perhaps one of the first things you should do after a relapse is to stop and take stock of your situation. Ask yourself, how long has this relapse been going on? How much tolerance have I regained? What consequences have come from this relapse?
Shorter relapses, in which no tolerance was regained might require less action than longer relapses. Longer relapses are likely to cause problems with friends, family, work, and even the legal system.
2. Decide who to tell
It can be tempting to keep your relapse to yourself. But, telling someone about your relapse is wise. Sneaking, covering up, and lying will probably keep you stuck in relapse longer. The best time to decide who you will inform of relapse is before you relapse. That’s when your mind is clear and you are less likely to exclude people for reasons of pride or lack of commitment. It is a good idea to make an agreement with the person(s) you plan on telling about a relapse. You could try something like, “if I ever relapse, can I come to you for support to get back on track?”
3. See what you can learn.
After a relapse, take some time to analyze what happened. Ask yourself what allowed this relapse to happen. Were there problems I didn’t address? Were there triggers I didn’t avoid? Did I have too much freedom and not enough accountability? These are some typical reasons people relapse. They may help you identify what contributed to your relapse:
Boredom: not having enough to do/not building up hobbies and activities.
Grief: the sadness from the loss of a loved one made you more vulnerable to drinking.
Shame: you felt guilty, dirty, or unaccepted and chose to escape from shame with alcohol
Anxiety: your nerves got the best of you and you drank to calm down
Isolation: Being alone gave you too much opportunity to get in your head and start the kind of thinking that leads to relapse.
Avoidance: you started avoiding recovery meetings, church, sober friends, and sober activities. And without the accountability from your sober-support system, you started drinking..
Conflict: disagreements with others got you wound up, and you figured, “to heck with it all!”
Practical problems: bills, a place to stay, legal requirements, or some other practical matters became overwhelming and you decided to just go out and get drunk.
Money: access to cash was too much temptation for you and you gave in.
Anger: you got so frustrated and angry that you looked for anything that could help you escape how you felt—and alcohol seemed an easy choice.
People, places, and things: there were triggers you failed to avoid.
Pleasure seeking: you wanted to celebrate, let loose, or have a little pick-me-up. So, you drank.
Pride: you started to feel that sobriety was for kids, and since you are “grownt” you can do what you want!
Once you know which factors contributed to your relapse, you can develop a plan to address the factors.
4. Forgiveness
Regardless of the reason for your relapse, you are vulnerable to keep using unless you seek forgiveness. In this article, I explain how drinking can make us feel so bad (physically, mentally, spiritually)—and how feeling bad makes us desire to drink.
It will take time—and perhaps medical support—to recover from the physical hangover from relapse. But, the spiritual hangover can be cured by trusting that God forgives you. Resilient Recovery Groups are one place where you can hear a clear and powerful message of forgiveness. There you can also feel the warmth and acceptance of a group that trusts in God’s grace alongside you.
