Does How You Handle Stress, Tragedy and Addiction Make You Stronger?

HOW CAN IT BE?

You probably think stress, tragedy and addiction are always bad. Our society believes that negative experiences always harm us and prevent our growth and flourishing. It is common to assume that most people who suffer a traumatic event will end up with PTSD and that they will need years of therapy to recover.

But experts tell us that most people who experience a difficult situation will either not suffer symptoms of PTSD at all—or they will return to normal in about 6 months after the difficult situation. Incredibly, some individuals will actually emerge from difficulty STRONGER than they were before. Experts call this posttraumatic growth. And this article will help you understand it better so that you can apply this knowledge in your own difficult situations. 

NOTE: We are not saying to go seek out trouble. Trauma can act like an earthquake, shattering a person’s life, and toppling their beliefs and assumptions about the world. But from the ashes of an earthquake, a new, stronger worldview can emerge. The new worldview can make sense of the new realities in a way that makes a person stronger and healthier than they were before the “earthquake.”

So don’t look for trouble. But if trouble finds you, don’t despair. You can learn and grow from stress, tragedy, or addiction.

CLICK HERE to pre-register for my free email course on posttraumatic growth.

How can I grow from difficulty?

Posttraumatic growth does not just happen on its own. Instead, you construct a new life. In a sense, you grow yourself. Experts who study posttraumatic growth say there are 5 main pathways you can use to growth from stress, tragedy and addiction. Here they are:

Appreciation. During the process of rebuilding, it is possible to experience a greater appreciation for “the little things” in life. A child’s smile. A delicious cup of coffee. The bright colors of a butterfly. Following a trauma, we might stop taking for things for granted and re-prioritize what is worth seeking out and holding on to.

Increased personal strength. After surviving an ordeal it is possible to feel, “If I got through that, I can survive anything.” This increased sense of personal strength can also lead to less fear of difficulty in general. Things that used to be a big deal, might not seem so big after having experienced a trauma. “Things have a way of working themselves out,” might be one common thought.

Recognition of new opportunities. Following a major upset, some of us might consider a new career, take up a new hobby, or make time for our “bucket list.” Maybe these possibilities didn’t occur to us before. Or maybe it just seemed like other things were more important. Either way, trauma can propel us into new experiences.

Spiritual Growth. Sometimes a traumatic experience can ignite—or rekindle—a belief in God. We may look back at our journey and rightly surmise: “only by the grace of God” did I make it through that. The Christian faith has many examples of individuals overcoming deep tragedy. 

Improved relationships. In the wake of a tragedy, we may find ourselves closer than ever to the specific people who lent us a hand, or shoulder to cry on. But, we might just as easily feel a new kinship with anyone who has suffered. 

Does recovery from addiction make you stronger?

Like those who have experienced trauma, those of us who have been addicted can emerge from the experience stronger and more focused. 

Over the last 20 years, I have spoken to hundreds of people in recovery. Inevitably, I hear echos of the 5 pathways to growth in each of their stories. After surviving the ordeal of addiction, many addicts report increased appreciation for the stuff of everyday life. They report Increased personal strength—and the research suggests that they actually DO get stronger and better able to manage urges. Addicts also report they recognize how limited and narrow their lives as addicts were and they embrace the new opportunities available to them in a sober life. Spiritual growth is not uncommon. And addicts often build improved relationships following addiction.

I believe these 5 pathways to growth are common— not just for those who have suffered a tragedy— or even those recovering from addiction. These pathways can be used by anyone who feels stuck or just wants to improve and enrich their lives.  

CLICK HERE to pre-register for my free email course on the 5 pathways for growth. You’ll get immediate access to a inventory of the 5 pathways to growth. The questions on the inventory will suggest some strategies for growth that you can use today!

Can you take this posttraumatic growth stuff too far?

Yes. Posttraumatic growth is a well documented phenomenon. But, we take things too far when we assume that we are better, smarter, or more virtuous than others because we experience posttraumatic growth.

We are not better. 

Instead, we should praise and thank God whenever growth occurs. He is the author of life and every good gift comes from him.

We also take this too far when we seek out trouble in order to grow. Jesus did not say, “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” Nietzsche did. (For those who don’t know, Nietzsche=very much not a believer in God.) Jesus recognized that persistent abuse and difficulty wears us down, it doesn’t build us up. Jesus looks on those who are weary from life’s stressors and says, “come unto me, you who are weary and I will give you rest.”

I’ll soon be releasing an email course on how to experience the 5 pathways for growth. But, I am confident that anyone who takes the course will be blessed by it.

But let’s not forget that prayer, bible-reading, and worship are blessings available to us every day.

CLICK HERE to pre-register for my free email course on the 5 pathways for growth.