How can you get a friend, client, or church member to say “Yes” to much-needed alcohol treatment?

There are no silver bullets, but a study conducted by my friend Petia Petrova demonstrates a universal fact about convincing others to say “Yes” to any request.

In Petia’s study, graduate students tried to convince home dwellers to participate in a time-consuming research project.

Which statement below do you think inspired a 3-fold increase in saying “Yes” to joining the study?

• This study will help future generations. Please join the study.

• If you don’t join, we will miss out on valuable data.

• Of course, you are free to accept or refuse

Adding the last statement resulted in a 3-fold increase in participation. (Just 14% participated without the phrase; whereas 44% who heard the phrase “you are free…” participated).

Why does that statement work?

The statement works because it lowers what experts call “reactance.” Reactance is a negative response to the threat of having our liberty taken away. By simply acknowledging a person’s right to choose, we make our request more acceptable.

Another study confirms this universal persuasion principle. In it, researchers told participants, “I know you might not want to, but would you mail this letter for me.” Shockingly, 100% of participants agreed in comparison to 71% who were just asked, ‘Would you mail this letter for me? ’ (Knowles and Riner, 2007).

The implications for getting a person to accept the need for treatment?

Whenever possible, we should attempt to lower reactance by affirming a person’s autonomy. For example, these phrases can help:

• “Of course, only you make a decision this important”

• “Ultimately, you are free to accept or refuse help”

• “Obviously, I cannot make this choice for you”

• “This really needs to be the right decision for you”

• “You are really in charge here. What do you think is the right course of action”

• “I am not your boss. I can’t tell you what to do. The ball is in your court and you get to accept or refuse help”

If you are interested in mastering the art of respectful conversations about change see my announcement below.

https://restinjesus.org/christian-recovery-coach